Seriously, I have got to get myself under control! I have done nothing but gained weight since being off work. (almost 2 years now! WHAT?!?!)
I am miserable. I am the heaviest I've EVER been, that includes 9 months preggo with #4. I really DO.NOT.LIKE.MYSELF. and it comes across in my world. I am not a happy mama, wife, friend, nuttin'!
I avoid social situations. (sorry everyone) I really really miss people, but I am really miserable and tired and just not in the mood to deal with anything/anyone. My lack of health is sucking my life and relationships away.
I am not the mom I want to be. I am so tired all the time, my knees hurt, my back hurts, moving sucks. I have been on and off quitting Mt. Dew (it's the devil!) and I do good, then I don't. I just don't know how to stay motivated.
I've been reading the Trim Healthy Mama book, for about 4 months now, yeah, I'm a slow reader when I'm supposed to be changing my ways.... The book is amazing and makes so much sense. When I do follow it, which has not been for more than 5 days in a row, I feel great, more energy, losing a few pounds....then bam, I defeat myself again!
I am not going to tell my weight, cause yeah, I don't even wanna know that number and I certainly ain't giving it to you! I am going to put it out there that I need to change and give you permission to check up on me. I'll even let you text me to keep me motivated if you want. Maybe public shaming will help me become the healthy mom/wife/person I want to be. Goodness knows I can't do God's work the way He wants me to when I'm treating my temple like a trash can.
I'm in the same boat as you. You can do this we can be each other's buddies.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to blog about it?!?! We could work on it together and blog. We really should figure out when we can do something, though with your running a mile you are way beyond what I can do already!! :-)
DeleteYou should also check out this book. It changed my life an how I view my body. http://www.amazon.com/Health-At-Every-Size-Surprising/dp/1935618253
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful beautiful woman! I have always thought so. Seriously gorgeous. I doubt you do any more harm to yourself than most people do. Just remember that you are being WAY harsher on yourself than you would ever be on me or anyone else. You are great! I don't know about the god stuff, but if anyone ever shames you, I will personally come and beat them up!
<3
Aww Jen, thank you. You are too kind and sweet. I am just so miserable with myself, I will check out the book though, a confidence boost couldn't hurt! I do know we are our own worst critics and I am beating myself a ton, both because of where i've let myself get and the fact that I have no willpower to change it! Yeah, better get that book today! :-(
DeleteI think the book is exactly what you need. It explains a lot of stuff about the biology of bodies. (Stresses impact, desire for exercise, body types, etc.) Regardless of that book though, your beauty is a fact and even if you don't believe it, that doesn't matter. You are gorgeous: FACT! You always have been.
DeleteAlso, as far as willpower goes, I think you have the most willpower of anyone I know. I think if I was faced with some of the pressures you are under I would have given up a while ago! THAT, my lovely beautiful friend, is willpower, not how much you eat. Although, in our screwed up society, that gets lost.
So, yeah, stop being so hard on my friend! She's awesome and I don't think you should think those things about her.