J and BN are great kids, they are a challenge for sure. All 2 y/o boys are! Most 4y/o girls are as well. Add into the mix of their lives that they are foster children, from a tough situation, and you have a formula for potential disaster! I love these kids, I want them to be happy, healthy, sweet kids.
They are not like my kids though. These kids come with a crew, not one they asked for, but there are lots of players in their lives for sure! To this point, I am planning a simple zoo trip at the end of the month. We are only going 4 hours away, to the Indy Zoo, we've never been to that particular zoo and thought it would be fun. I can not take J and BN, well I can, but not so simply as putting my own kids in the car and going. We have to have special permission to take them with us. It's only 4 hours away, it's only for overnight, yet there is paperwork involved.
I want to treat these kids like my own, and I will as much as possible, but they are not like mine. I have to always remember that, if I break the rules with them, rules I would never even think about (or have) with my own kids, then I get in trouble.
I am feeling good about fostering at the moment, God and I had some convos, my heart is feeling ok. I had some convos with K too, she is not feeling so ok with it all.....that is something to tackle in a family meeting after these bonus babies leave and we decide whether to continue this crazy, fishbowl living path.
Is it right to live what I feel is my calling (though sometimes I question that) if it is negatively affecting my bio kids? Are they being negatively affected? Could it just be hormones of an almost teenager that is causing the tears? Is it selfish to want to live a comfortable, non-challenging life? If I have the able to foster and I choose not to is that wrong? What does God want me to do?
No comments:
Post a Comment