Pretty bold right? I'm almost ashamed to admit I've made demands of God. Thankfully He extends a grace I do not deserve and loves me despite my selfish human self.
So I've been lost lately. I'm sad, I'm not feeling Him, I feel lost and out of touch with everyone in my world and wanting to just run, far away, from it all.
So, as I do everyday, I'm siting in a school parking lot waiting for kidlet1 to get done with cheer practice. Today I brought my bible and with 3 littles strapped in carseats in the back I closed my eyes and I got bold.
"God, I'm lost, I'm broken I can't feel you and I don't know if I'm on the right path. Foster care is hard and I'm not strong enough to handle that on top of normal life. Show me you are there, give me inspiration. Show me something to keep me going"
And then I randomly opened my bible, blindly pointed and read:
JOB 8.1-7 (TheMessage)
"How can you keep on talking like this?
You're talking nonsense, and noisy nonsense at that. Does God mess up?
Does God Almighty ever get things backwards? It's plain that your children sinned against him--
Otherwise, why would God have punished them?
Here's what you must do -- and don't put it off any longer:
Get down on your knees before God Almighty. If you're as innocent and upright as you say,it's not too late -- he'll set everything right again, reestablish your fortunes.
Even though you're not much right now, you'll end up better than ever.
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Then I glance over and see the beginning of Job 7, I won't put it all here, but it begins:
"Human life is a struggle, isn't it?" It's a life sentence to hard labor....
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And the message is heard. Thank you God for allowing me to be bold. Amen.
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