I've decided to focus on one verse as well. I picked the verse quickly, it's been my life verse for a while.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I have spent years repeating these lines to myself. I had a metal bracelet made with the words. I have pinned signs to make with these words. This verse has gotten me through very dark times when my demons reared their ugly heads. I knew this was a great verse for me to focus on....until....
God (as he has a way of doing) smacked me with another verse that fit so well with what I've been struggling with lately and especially today, that it was as if it was written just for me, for right now. As I've talked about, we are foster parents, you may know that it is very (VERY) difficult. The kids we have are awesome, but they are the same ages as 2 of my bio kids, they have a few little issues that we have to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I love these little guys, for all the issues they could have they are doing great. However, I am EXHAUSTED. I want to quit. I'm not sure if what we are doing is good enough, I don't feel mom enough to manage my 4 plus these 2. I don't feel like I am giving all the kids what they need. I am not giving my husband what he needs and I certainly am not giving myself what I need. I am drained and I am struggling. I can't keep up with laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, meal planning, meal prep, appointments, practices and all the other stuff a family of 8 requires.
I feel like I was called to foster, every path has lead me here. I never intended to do something like this when my kids were little, but I was lead down this road. On days like today I want to jump off the road. The kids are arguing, the bonus kids have peeled yet more paint off my (just painted) walls and doors. My bio youngest daughter yells how she doesn't want to share me with other kids anymore. My bio son is a 3 year old terror and beyond busy (as 3 y/o boys are)! I can't leave the bonus son (also 3) alone for even a sec or something bad is gonna happen. I don't even have 2 of my bio kids here. I just want to quit!
I was wasting time on Pinterest and came across this.
Tada! DO NOT GIVE UP! Foster care is good, but I am so weary! I'm tired of having to wait for that "someday" when I can reap. I am human and I want rewards now! This verse brought me right back down to reality and reminded me that it is not about me! And so here is my #verse2014
The Better Mom website created the free printable above. They are doing a 31 day challenge for January called from Grouchy to Great, I am SO in!
No comments:
Post a Comment