Ramblings....

I have had so much floating around in my head. I've been thinking about so many blog posts to do.

As I sit here at the computer, none of it is coming to mind.

Hubs is working in the basement and has the little ones down there with him....I hear yelling, so I really should go get them soon!

Big girls are at their dad's. That's been bringing some issues. A, my 8 y/o, is having issues having to see her dad and I desperately. I never expected these issues from her. I've been divorced since she was 2. We've lived with her step-dad since she was 4 months old and I've been married to him since she was 3. She does not remember life with her "real" dad, maybe that's where the questions come in. She's been telling me lately that "you could have worked things out", I know she has no clue, but it brings such guilt and shame and pain to me.

I am not proud that I'm divorced. I never saw that happening in my life, that's just not me. It was a volatile, violent, abusive marriage, I stayed way longer than I should have to begin with. I knew we shouldn't have gotten married and I went into it with all the wrong attitude. I feel lots of guilt about that, but had I not done that their wouldn't even be an A, and for that I'm thankful.

Anyway, I don't want to get into all the why's for choosing what I did, but it was best for myself and the girls and even the ex I'm sure. I hate that A feels sad that C and B get to stay with me all the time, and says so. I just don't have a way to change it. I know it makes hubba feel bad too when she says that she wishes I would have worked it out with her dad. She does love him tons, we both know that, it's just tough for her.

Ok, well that was a tangent...

My bonus kids are with their mom this weekend. This past week with my nephew was wonderful. Seriously the best we've had in a long long time, I'm praying we are on the upswing with him. We painted his room and put up a few decorations last weekend while he was gone as a surprise to him, I think it really helped him feel like he has a place here, which in turn helped his attitude.

In other news, I just closed my first Scentsy party! I can't wait for everyone to get their stuff and hope they all love it as much as I do. Orders can be placed anytime on my website ;-) www.shalvors.scentsy.us

Lord thank you for the blessings in my life. Thank you for guiding my path and help me continue to help me walk the path You would have me walk. Please come into A's heart and help her turn to You in her confusion and know that all things will be ok. Help P continue to feel loved and turn to You in times of need. I pray this in Your name. Amen.