I'm just not feeling inspired. Not up to doing/saying/thinking/feeling much. I have ups and I have downs. The downs have been outnumbering lately and it's stressing me out.
Money is a problem, I'm still getting used to not having a job, I never had to worry about money, suddenly I do and I'm not digging it.
Emotions are a mess. My bonus kids are having a rough time right now as both parents have relinquished parental rights and they are dealing with the fact that there will be no more visits.
Hormones are a wreck. I spent years w/o any monthly visits between being pregnant and birth control that stopped it. Since B was born I have been on nothing (hubs got fixed) and the monthly hormone flow is killing me. Each day is predictable, I know when I will be miserable, when I will hate the world, when I will be happy, when I will be starving and I can control none of it and it sucks. I should probably start researching herbs and such to use!
Relationships are tough. Hubba and I are not in the best place. People I once loved and were a daily part of my life are no longer in it at all. I have great friends but don't really feel like it since time to get together is so rare. I am so not fun to be around either and so I don't make much effort to try to hang out.
Diet, I am reading the Trim Healthy Mama book, which is awesome and makes total sense. I have been casually doing it, and honestly had some energy when I stay focused, but then I always fall off the wagon. So I'm having a crap eating day and then it just makes me more miserable!
So right now I'm in a rough place, that is the moral here. It will be ok. I will be ok. Things will be ok. Someday, somehow, God willing.
No comments:
Post a Comment