Unexpected turns....

My fostering journey has taken a turn I was not expecting, not this soon, not with the first kids (non-relative) we fostered.

We got papers a couple weeks ago letting us know that the kids are officially up for adoption. We got papers to sign, we had to let them know if we DID or DID NOT want the kids. They capitalized it, which made me feel horrible! It's not like I don't want them, we are just not the best thing for them.

Getting the papers threw me into a tailspin for a bit. Blessedly I have people to talk to, I let my community group as well as my Tuesday morning bible study ladies, having lots of people praying for me, and even just letting people into my world helped tremendously.

I know that we are not the best thing for the kids and vice versa. C is having a really hard time having BN here and is ready for her to be gong. Having foster kids the same ages and sexes as my youngest two kids has been really tough.

BN and J have an aunt that wants to adopt them, I asked to meet her on the last visit and was allowed to. It helped put my mind at ease, and my heart know I had to let go, when I watched her with them. She loves them and they love her. She is in a position to give them the life that they deserve and she doesn't have little ones at home, so she can also give them the attention and focus they are going to need to get process all that they have been through in their short lives.

So I signed the papers, I turned them in, I am officially not adopting two more kids. I talked to C, since she's having the toughest time right now with foster care, and she still wants to welcome more kids into our home. She would really like it to be babies though! We'll see what God has in store with us. With Him, each other, and our faithful friends I know we'll be ok with whatever He throws our way.