Frustration

I'm frustrated in a lot of areas right now.

I can not seem to get the kids to behave right now. They are just being mean to each other, especially my niece, and she was getting so much better.....now that she's getting closer to going back to her mom (and has spent alone time with her so who knows what she was told) it feels like we're right back to the beginning. In fact they are all grounded today, I've let them know they can clean, read and sit....that's it! Of course time outs and grounding aren't really working. And we have Christmas break coming up.........I really have to figure something out......

I'm frustrated with the mess in this house. 6 kids/2 adults in 3 bedrooms just doesn't work. That is probably a big part of the above problem, we just have no room for people to spread out. We have no room for organization. The basement is being worked on....kinda. The pace at which it's going is painful. I NEED to have more room or I'm gonna go crazy! I am having a really hard time being here right now.

I grew up in a very clean house, my parents didn't believe in clutter, they weren't sentimental so they didn't save anything. I don't ever remember my house just being a mess.....in any room.....ok, except mine and my siblings occasionally. This house is never clean. There is always some room/closet that is holding clutter and chaos. My kids could care less about a mess, they just step over something rather than take the time to bed over and pick it up, ok actually they just step ON it. Hubs is the same way. Clutter and mess have no effect on him. He spills coffee on the counter and just leaves it there to dry. A pot boiled over? Oh well, Steph will get it later. Add to that that he is a pack rat and he's lucky to still be married to me. I can not park in my garage, the shed is a mess, his "section" of counter is always piled, I gave him a section to keep him from taking over the whole kitchen and that section makes me furious every day!

I've also started a workout routine. It's only been a couple weeks, but I am seeing no progress at all. I have not lost even 1 pound. I have been to the gym at least every other day, sometimes 2 days in a row and even late at night. I've even done Zumba.....yet nothing! I'm not perfect with the food thing and I think that's still my issue, I read losing weight is 70% diet and 30% gym. I'm still addicted to Mt. Dew, it's my stress reliever and crap do I have a lot of stress. I have to break that addiction and yet feel powerless to do so, I NEED it, literally. It's such a wicked catch 22 I'm living. I'm so mad at myself about it, about this, that I let myself get/be the way I am.

Overall I'm just feeling a bit on the edge of control. I have very little sleep, the baby (who's actually not a baby so much at 15months old) still wakes up 2/3+ times a night. I have trouble falling to sleep to begin with because of stress. We have 6 kids to take care of, Christmas is coming, bills don't stop, only hubs is working and it's only temporary. We have to finish the basement. Someone always needs something and their are millions of appointments. So much of what I have to do and am going through is going to be for naught in a few months. Ok that's not exactly true, but I'm still upset anyway. I have nightmares several times a night. I very rarely see the person I'm married to.

Ok I'm done whining now.....