Remote Blogging

Actually written on December 9th, 2011

I'm remote blogging......though really I'm writing on paper so it's just journaling, when you read it though **poof** it's a blog!! Ta Da!!

I'm going on hour 5 of waiting in the waiting room for my niece and nephew a.k.a. foster kids, as they are doing an all day assessment thing.

There are a few other people around all with their kindles and cell phones while waiting for their own bonus kids.

I stole K's nook for today but I'm just not feeling it. I did however get some confirmation from the book I was finally able to finish this morning.

Story goes....

Sitting, waiting, listening, knowing.

This foster stuff is hard, It's frustrating, It's depressing at times. It makes you live in a glass house that has to be open to anyone, anytime. It's rewarding. It's fulfilling. It's my calling. This is how God wants to use me I do believe.

As I was thinking and feeling that, I turned on the nook to finish the last couple chapters or the bible study book I'm behind on. A Confident Heart by Renee Swope and this is the first thing I see:

"Your past has not come full circle to it's complete redemption until you allow Christ to not only defuse, but also to use it. "  ~Beth Moore

I was abused as a child. I would have been in foster care had someone spoken up. Nobody ever did and I live with the consequences every day. I'm ok. It's taken years of struggle, but I'm ok. If that wasn't confirmation that God wants me to follow the foster care path I don't know what is.

Now to discuss it with my family, nuclear and extended and friends. This is one of those life journeys I'm going to need support with.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So now I'm in today......almost a week later. I'm tired, beyond exhausted. My youngest doesn't sleep, kids argue, things are not getting done. So I doubt......

Lord please help me stop doubting myself and your plans. You've given me lots of reasons to believe, please give me the strength to keep believing. In Your name I pray. Amen.