Today was the day that I found out I didn't know my kid as well as I thought I did. It's kinda heartbreaking and I kinda cried, a lot.
K is my oldest, she's 11, straight A, never misbehaving kid. Sure she smarts off some, but for the most part she's respectful and puts me on such a high pedestal it's crazy. She is mama's girl through and through, tells me all the time how wonderful I am, how I'm the best mom ever. She would rather sit on me rather than next to me and given the chance would sleep with me every night.
We have such a great relationship, she tells me everything......so I thought.
Turns out my "perfect" child was hiding something and has been for almost 2 months. I was checking facebook as I often do and I see a comment on one of her friends comments from a kid with MY kids name. What?!?! It's not a common name AT ALL, ok not the last name anyway. I click on it feeling kinda sick at what I know I'm about to see.
Sure enough, my hides nothing kid has a secret fb acct. She also had a secret email address to help hide the secret fb acct. She's been checking said acct. from her Ipod, but she didn't get the app, nope, this mom checks stuff, that wouldn't work, so she would just google it every time she wanted to log in. That logging in was happening quite often.
Turns out my kid is 2 years older than I know her to be, oh and she's in high school, and has a boyfriend on the other side of the state by her dad's house, a boy who she misses when they are sitting on the other side of the room from each other. Oh and turns out she had a bit of a bullying relationship going on with some girl from school....
I'm shocked, disappointed and disillusioned. I would never have thought "my kid" would do something like that. Oh and to ad insult to injury she had a pic of me and her baby brother on her page that said "best mom and bro eva" Seriously, I'm so great she lies through her little 11 year old 6th grade teeth to me!
So I wanted to go all `facebook mad dad` on her and make a video and shoot her Ipod, but well, that's stupid and wasteful and I've been wanting my own Ipod. So instead I posted a status for her that said:
This is Kaitlyn's mom, Kaitlyn is 11 years old, she is not old enough to have a facebook by facebook standards, much less MY standards, as most of you are not either. She has made a giant mistake for which she is going to be grounded for a long long time. This is notice to you all, don't bother calling her, texting her, facebooking her, this account will be shut down. Be kids while you have the chance and for crying out loud stop lying to your parents, THEY WILL FIND OUT!
Then I let her know how she is grounded for AT LEAST a month, it will be up for review at that time. I now own her Ipod, she may or may not get it back. Her phone is only to be used when she is at her dad's and will be checked regularly as no calls/texts will be placed to anyone other than family. She has cried and apologized about a gazillion times, she knows this is oh so serious. We've had the talk about facebook, she knew how I felt about her having an acct. How I felt it was highly inappropriate for young kids, how too much trouble can go on, how she see's her friends at school so there is no reason for it.
I've let her know that I love her no matter what she's done and always will. I've let her know I'm incredibly disappointed in her actions and choices. I've shut down the facebook page and the email associated with it.
I've realized that I may not know my kids like I thought I did and that hurts. Tons. Time to adapt my parenting....
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