Procrastination

Procrastination is kinda screwing up my life, both mine and the hubs (both putting things off)

Like for real, if I end up divorced procrastination will be at the top of the list for reasons.

So much has to be done and so much I can't do and can't seem to get him to do. Well unless I get pissed then he moves to action, but frankly I'm tired of having to go down that road. I've had flooring for my master bath for at least a year, it's still in boxes. I even ripped out the carpet (who f'n puts carpet in a bthrm anyway?!?!) myself to get him moving, um yeah, been walking on plywood for 6 months....the list goes on and on.

Then there's me, I've had major issues and struggles with post partum depression....surprise!! If you don't know me intimately you probably would have no idea (as a victim of extreme child abuse hiding emotions comes easy to me...that's another post) Anyway my point in oversharing, besides insomnia and stress making me talk to much, is that I'm easily "shut down", messes do that to me, I can't shop in messy stores. Goodwill, most dollar stores....I think they're great but I can't go in them, I've tried just causes anxiety.

Anyway, to bring it all together....I hate messes, my house is a mess, Scott is failing at home maintenance, add my summer of overtime hell, the inside is a wreck, I'm shut down and miserable. Now add the stress of no job, 2 extra kids in addition to my 4, my letting Scott take over money for the last year (cause I believed what he said....how things would be different then the last time he controlled it....ummm wrong) so yeah, I'm going crazy enough to put this all I'm digital stone!!

So if you're a misery loves company person, Hi my name is Steph, lets be friends.

If you are part of my hater club, congrats, now you know my life isn't perfect. Though had you stopped being an ass and judging me I woulda told you.

If you are kind, compassionate and a believer, please pray for me.

Now, I'm gonna make myself get up (yay smart  phones and blogger apps) and do something. How do I do it? Because when I wake up I'm still me, it's still my life and it must be lived.